Phuket BeachFrom Issue 13 Southwest Edition

My Phuket Road Trip by Ben Lambert

Oh shit! I’m gonna die. Why the hell did I do this? I thought to myself, life flashing before my eyes. Jon struggled to get control of the bike as we careened right into the path of a double-decker bus. I held on for dear life, knowing that the bus was going too fast and the road was too narrow for it to miss us. It was all up to Jon, the Malaysian guy I’d met only a few hours before to save us. I closed my eyes and prayed that he did in fact have the crazy-bike-driving DNA that most Southeast Asians seem to possess.

We sped up, the bike jerked and I felt the bus whiz pass, so fast the rush of air it created shook me. Horns blared as I opened my eyes to find us safely on the shoulder. We were live. He’d done it. Barely.

We were less than two miles from Patong Beach, Phuket, our destination, and our butts were so freaking sore that even the tiniest bump caused us to curse in pain. Our conversation for the last twenty minutes had consisted entirely of curse words, followed either by “my ass” or “that was our turn”. I was already seriously dreading the prospect of making the return trip the next day. The only upside was that we’d make the return trip in the afternoon, plenty of light, not after dark with a barely functioning headlamp…

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